PRAISE FOR KEEP IT REAL

Reviews:

Library Journal
T.S. Eliot once said, "Humankind cannot stand very much reality." According to debut novelist Bryan, humankind cannot tolerate very many reality shows. A writer for such TV series as Night Court, Bryan obviously carries the scars of his experience in Hollywood to this day. His hero, Ted Collins, is licking his wounds from a nasty divorce that has left him only infrequent visitation rights to his beloved daughter. Otherwise, he toils away in the vineyard of a reality show, TheMogul, which highlights the entrepreneurial skills of one Roger Dominus, who is notable for his patented catchphrase "You're outta here!" and his terrible toupee. During one of those infrequent visits to his ex and her new husband, Ted witnesses a violent altercation between a Booty centerfold and her rap performer/significant other. When the centerfold's corpse turns up in a refrigerator shortly thereafter, it sets off a string of events that propels this funny, mildly suspenseful, and politically incorrect romp to its conclusion. This should appeal to Entertainment Tonight fans who will appreciate the insider satirical jabs inflicted on the world of television. For larger public libraries.

Publishers Weekly
TV writer and producer Bryan spoofs, satirizes and burlesques his way through that kingdom of sin and sizzle, Hollywood, in this uneven, coarse but funny debut crime novel featuring Ted Collins, a Pulitzer Prize–winning investigative reporter turned reality TV producer. Ted works for one of reality TV's biggest hits, The Mogul (any resemblance to The Apprentice is not coincidental). His journalism career, and the rest of his life, derailed when his wife left him for an attorney and took him for virtually everything he had, including his darling seven-year-old daughter, Hallie. An unlikely confluence of events (a key promotion, a chance encounter and the disappearance of a lovely model) gives Collins a chance to get his investigative talents back into play and also to earn better terms for seeing Hallie. Bryan's humor is often adolescent, but when he lifts his aim to skewer targets like the manipulations that make reality TV a farce or the perils of race relations, he shows a real gift for satire.

Bookreporter.com
After taking a look at the first few words of Keep It Real, Bill Bryan's debut novel, you will know whether or not the book will appeal to you. If you happen to be disgusted, then you might as well stop reading, because it only gets better (or, depending on your perspective, worse) as the pages roll by. If you start laughing --- after you shake your head and re-read that first sentence a few times, just to make sure you got it right --- then you are going to love this wild ride through the world of reality television, guided by a protagonist whose hay wagon is a few bales short of a full load.

Keep It Real is uproariously, bitingly funny. To paraphrase a famous golfer, if something in here doesn't offend you, then you weren't paying attention. Bryan, who has toiled in the television medium (as a writer and producer for "Coach" and "Night Court") and knows of what he writes, has come out of the gate wearing razor blades and lets no one escape unscathed.

Ted Collins, the narrator of the book, is a former investigative reporter who has experienced a rapid downward slide marked by a divorce, meltdown and --- perhaps the crowning blow --- court-ordered supervision of his child visitation. Collins is now a segment producer for "The Mogul," a reality television show that, against all odds, has become a hit. Among Collins's few remaining assets: a talent for off-the-cuff improvisation and a rapier-like wit capable of skewering everyone within a 100-yard radius.

Collins inadvertently witnesses an altercation between Boney, a superstar rapper who needs a hit CD, and Patrice, his smoking-hot girlfriend. When Patrice subsequently goes missing, Collins is certain that she has met with foul play and that the "playa," if you will, is Boney. Collins gets the wild idea to feature him as a Mogul on the program in order to gain access to his home and property for the purpose of investigating him and hopefully ascertaining the fate of Patrice.

Collins has trouble getting his groove on, torn as he is between his ex-wife --- now married to a successful entertainment attorney (who just happens to be representing Boney) --- and Susan DeRosa, an LAPD detective assigned to investigate Patrice's disappearance. Collins is a screw-up, professionally and personally, and his detecting instincts are better than his skills. But he is hilarious --- all the more so because he says and thinks the same things many of us do, unbidden or not, either alone or in impolite company.

Already a major talent in the world of television, Bryan has crafted an outrageous, hilarious and impressive debut novel. Let's hope this is only the beginning. (Reviewed by Joe Hartlaub)

Front Street Reviews
The current plethora of reality TV shows takes a hit in this lampoon of today's pop culture. Keep It Real is anything but- it points out the absurdity of reality as it appears on TV and in modern media. Bill Bryan boldly skewers reality TV, 'gangsta' rap, and high powered movers and shakers. It is a book for those that like a laugh with their mystery.

Ted's life has not progressed as planned. He was a prize winning investigative reporter. Now, thanks to a divorce gone horribly wrong, he is trapped producing a reality TV show. He must balance the needs of the show (shooting episodes, then re-shooting and reediting them to some semblance of entertainment) with his own needs (maintaining some self pride and visiting his daughter whenever his vindictive ex-wife will let him.) His existence becomes even more complicated after he witnesses an up and coming rapper manhandling a gorgeous woman. When the woman disappears Ted feels his investigative reporting instincts kick into over drive. If he can delve into and solve the mystery he might be able to regain his former career. But the case is anything but straight forward. The addition of a policewoman adds to his interest in following through on his investigation.

The reality TV show seems a bit familiar. It is based on the concept of a famous businessman auditioning assistants from a pool of competing candidates. And a few of the other, lesser characters may have been based, only slightly (that comment for the lawyers) of course, on real life people, Or it may just all be a big coincidence. The main character is quite likable; he gets the reader behind his endeavors even when he is not at his most sensible or logical The use of the first person with Ted's character enables the reader to appreciate his point of view, which is a good thing since it is unique at times. . He may solve the case but the plot takes many twists and turns on the way to the end.

This book's strength is its humor, the ability to look at current culture and show the inanity of much of current society.  This is not for the stuffy, the sanctimonious or the unaware. It is a perfect read for anyone who can only face reality with tongue firmly planted in their cheek and laughter just below the surface.

Bill Bryan's career as a writer and producer seems to lend this book a scary truthfulness. It seems like the looniness of behind the scenes tv may be as crazy as we always suspected. (Reviewed by Barb Radmore)

January Magazine, May 2007
Life has kicked Ted Collins in the groin a few too many times. His wife left him for a richer man. He lost his career as a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist. His best friend is an ex-girlfriend who became a lesbian. The court supervises all contact between him and his daughter. Worst of all, he's been promoted at work.

Wait a minute: Doesn't a promotion mean more money and prestige? Well, yes, but it also means that Ted is now the co-executive producer of television's biggest "reality" series, The Mogul. Consider how Ted describes his job before he gets the news:

The accepted term for the genre that these shows occupy is "Reality," but I know a bit too much about how these shows are made to describe them as such. In fact I refuse to describe them at all -- whenever anyone asks me what I do for a living these days, I tell them that I am an IT systems integrator. It's the perfect cover, because although I have no idea what that means, no one's been bored enough to ask.

Of course, Ted's new position means a new house and a nicer car than his old battered Subaru. But it also makes him an overpaid babysitter for Roger Dominus, the spectacularly combed-over billionaire star of The Mogul. If Dominus sounds suspiciously like Donald Trump in The Apprentice, there's a good reason for that. Author Bill Bryan is a former Night Court writer who's been in Hollywood for almost 25 years. And apparently, he doesn't like reality series. Not one bit.

Keep It Real is a scathing satire of the world of reality TV, thinly disguised as a crime novel. Every turn in this tale provides one more excuse to rip away at the façade of today's hottest programming genre. And no, author Bryan doesn't care if this offends The Donald. But if Roger Dominus is anything to judge by, Trump probably wants to buy the rights to, and then retitle the book Trump: The Parody.

The story here, such as it is, concerns the disappearance of a fetching young Maxim magazine model named Patrice. It just so happens that Ted was one of the last people to see Patrice alive. At the time, her boyfriend, a rapper known as Boney, wasn't feeling the love. So Patrice felt his hand upside her face. Naturally, someone who knew of this assault would go to the police with it, after Patrice goes missing.

This is Ted Collins, however, who sees Patrice as his ticket out from under the fat thumb of his boss, Trevor Bane. Almost as powerful as Dominus, Bane is 10 times as egotistical, and he is the executive producer of The Mogul as well as a host of other reality shows that most people are embarrassed to admit they watch. You know the ones. The kind that make Survivor look like Masterpiece Theatre.

Bryan doesn't spare the world of hip-hop in these pages, either. Boney, née Raymond Bonaparte, can barely string a coherent sentence together. (I suspect Bryan is not a 50 Cent fan, but I could be wrong.) The author even gives the singer's album a mush-mouth title: What Duh Fuh You Lookin At? In order to get close to Boney and prove that he killed Patrice -- or else had her killed -- Ted convinces Bane and the ex-Mrs. Collins' new hubby, Richard Slatkin, to let The Mogul promote Boney's latest CD during the next week's episode. Slatkin is Boney's high-powered attorney and owner of the home where the rapper and Patrice had words in front of Ted.

Got all that? Good. Because it only gets even more complicated from there on out. Boney is protected and controlled by a smooth-talking record company exec named Lovey Mack. If you think Dominus is a thinly disguised Trump, Bryan doesn't even bother hiding Mack's true identity: former Death Row Records honcho Suge Knight. Even their police records are identical.

Ted wants to use Patrice's disappearance to resurrect his career as an investigative journalist. To do this, he enlists the aid of Deborah Sullivan, the aforementioned lesbian ex-lover and best friend, who also happens to be a freelance camera operator. Deb agrees to help Ted out, with the caveat being that this is the dumbest idea she's ever heard. She's not the only one who thinks so. LAPD Detective Susan DeRosa thinks it's massively stupid, too. However, she can't resist a man whose idea of an anonymous tip is to phone Crimestoppers in a Foghorn Leghorn voice.

Yes, I said Foghorn Leghorn.

"Detective DeRosa," she answers.

"Ah say ah say, little darling. It is yours truly."

"Oh, hello. Or should I say, 'Cock-a-doodle-do'?"

"Ah regret that factors beyond my control have forced me to adopt this most undignified demeanor." I drop into Foghorn's most seductive tones. "Perhaps one day we can meet under more agreeable conditions."

"Am I being hit on by poultry?"

This approach must work, because DeRosa and Ted's daughter are the only two characters in Keep It Real who do not earn Collins' acidic descriptions. And yet Ted Collins functions well as an unreliable narrator. He himself thinks Boney is guilty of murder, yet the rapper's depression and worry come through--mostly in monosyllabic grunts, it's true, but they do come through. Bane, Dominus and Mack are exaggerated blowhards as seen by a man who harbors nothing but contempt for them. Still, you can see how shallow Dominus is when he talks with Lovey Mack. Never mind that the two are one and the same. Mack just has a prison record.

Eventually, when Patrice is found, the bullets start flying. This is a crime novel, after all. Collins is shocked repeatedly at the lengths to which his boss and Dominus are willing to go to milk the ensuing carnage for every ratings point it's worth. They even blackmail the TV network into pre-empting its highest-rated hospital drama in order to broadcast a news special about the death and destruction surrounding the promotion of Boney's newest album. It's a Very Special Episode of The Mogul.

Bill Bryan starts out slow, and then gradually accelerates his story. However, what the early part of Keep It Real lacks in action, it more than makes up for in the absurd. Some of this is built on Ted Collins' sarcasm regarding his unchosen profession and his personal life. Much of it, though, is born from the cutthroat world of reality television. Several of the most bizarre moments in the book come when author Bryan, through Collins, reveals how much of reality is "scripted." Much more is manipulation and clever editing, and none of it is real. (Reviewed by James Winter)

TVMegaSite , July 2007
This may be the funniest fiction book I've ever read. Most books, unless they're joke books, or non-fiction written by comedians, are not that funny. This one is. It's also got an intriguing story. I couldn't put it down and finished it in two days, which is really rare for me. It just reads so easily, and you want to keep reading it to see what happens. Because it's so funny, you really don't even want it to end, but sadly, it does...

The main type of humor is sarcasm, which I love. If you don't like this type of humor, or you don't like four-letter words or sexual jokes, you won't like this. It starts out really shockingly bawdy, but it is just so funny that it doesn't matter. All of the characters are silly and fun, even the murderers. I would say on one hand that it has some pretty awful stereotypes of African-Americans, but really, it has those about EVERYONE, so it's all fair game.

The book is about a producer of a reality show (that sounds an awful lot like "The Apprentice"). The producer really doesn't want to be working at this job because he used to be an investigative journalist. He had a bad split with his wife and did some destructive things to her and her new husband, so he lost all of his journalistic credibility, so that's why he had to take the job at the reality show. This book really skewers Hollywood and the people who work in it, among many other things. It's just hilarious, and I'm sorry, but there are only so many ways I can say that. You may recognize other real-life shows and people that are fictionalized here as well. As a TV fan, I loved it, even though I hate reality shows.

I am definitely going to have to check out more works by this author in the future...you know how when you read a book, and just the way the author writes, his or her turn of phrase, is enough for you to enjoy the book (never mind the plot, characters etc.)? This is how it was with this book. Every sentence is just damn funny.

The book is filled with current pop culture references, though, so hurry and buy it now before you forget about all of these people and things, or it will be dated. It's not a book with a big shelf life, unfortunately -  just for that reason. Besides the language and sex, anyone who does not follow entertainment news would probably have a hard time getting a lot of those references (such as anyone over 60). That's the worst thing I can say about it, though. (Reviewed by Suzanne Lanoue)

Mysterious Reviews, July 2007
Bill Bryan's debut crime novel, Keep It Real, is a satirical and frequently funny blending of the behind-the-scenes production of a reality television show and a murder investigation.

Told in the first person present tense (which rarely works for mysteries, but seems appropriate here), Ted Collins is an investigative reporter who reluctantly admits that yes, he's won a "Pulie" (Pulitzer Prize), but that his currently employer doesn't hold it against him. Ted is a producer for the hit reality television series The Mogul starring billionaire Roger Dominus who is looking for an apprentice to work in his organization, and created by the king of reality TV himself, Trevor Bane. During a visit to his ex-wife to pick up their daughter, he overhears a conversation between the rapper Raymond Bonaparte ("Boney") and a model who is later found murdered. Suspecting Boney of the crime, Ted arranges for him to appear on The Mogul so that he can conduct his investigation without raising too much suspicion.

Subtle is not a word in author Bill Bryan's vocabulary. Roger Dominus is a thinly disguised version of Donald Trump; the Dominus casinos are in Las Vegas rather than Atlantic City and Dominus Tower is in Los Angeles rather than New York City, but the Dominus helicopter is the same. Trevor Bane is an even more transparent fictionalization of Mark Burnett. Bryan captures the public perception of the idiosyncrasies and excesses of these two men perfectly in his characters: there isn't anything Roger won't do to promote his identity and there isn't any product or service that Trevor isn't ready and able to make a buck off of. Anyone who watches reality television will be laughing at the outrageous manner in which it is portrayed here.

The murder mystery plays a supporting role here but does provide a unifying theme to the story. The resolution to the model's murder is beyond cynical, but in a perverse way is completely believable.

For a book that not only tests the boundaries of good taste but crosses over them regularly and repeatedly, Bryan is, ironically, a little too politically correct at times and tends to be a bit preachy especially when it comes to race relations. These minor objections aside, Keep It Real is a very funny look at the world of reality television with a bonus for mystery readers of having a murder to solve. (Reviewed by Lance Wright)

Crimespree , May 2007
Keep It Real , television writer and producer Bill Bryan’s debut book, starts big, reads big, and ends big.

“The sight of Ms. Gutierrez naked is all bad, but the thing that really jumps right out at me is her humongous bush.” That first sentence perfectly sets the internal narrative of our irascible lead, the puerile yet loveable Ted Collins. From a damn good investigative reporter to shill/producer of “The Mogul,” a reality TV show that is slowly bleeding his soul dry, Ted’s descent into Hollywood hell was brought about by divorce and Ted’s temporary break with normal adult behavior in the face of adversity. What gets Ted out of bed every morning, his beautiful and witty little girl Hallie, is denied him except under the supervising eye of the court appointed meanie, the aforementioned Ms. Gutierrez.

One of these visits has Ted wading through shrubs looking for a lost ball when he gets an earful from next door. Gangsta rapper Boney his booty-licious girlfriend, Patrice, are arguing.  Fiercely. When Patrice ends up as a headline as a missing starlet, Ted reverts to his former career and begins to investigate for all he’s worth. For the first time, working in reality TV may not be the worst thing ever. Ted gets Boney written into “The Mogul” and suddenly he’s like Shaggy after a Scooby snack. Can Ted track down a killer before he a) Gets fired; b) Gets found out; or c) Gets killed?

Bill Bryan’s vast experience with film and television, including NightCourt and Coach, has given him the chops to write a snappy book. But some dark and twisted part of his brain has given him the power to write a fantastic debut that reads fast and will actually have you believing that a Hollywood producer can evolve into a human being. (Reviewed by Jennifer Jordan)

Deadly Pleasures, Spring 2007
IMBA Killer Book Selection Rating
A Ted Collins was an award winning investigative reporter, but his divorce put him in a downward spiral that pretty much ended that career.  He's currently working as a segment producer for a reality TV show, The Mogul.  Yep, its similar to The Apprentice, though taken to much more of an extreme.  I saw that having to state I have never watched The Apprentice.

 

Ted's ex-wife is now married to a very wealthy and influential entertainment attorney, Richard Slatkin.  His seven year old daughter Hallie  is living an absurdly privileged life, and even uses her credit card to buy Ted some clothing when needed to fit in to a hotel he takes her to for a treat.

 

Ted has to have supervised visitation due to some incidents that occurred when he was binging to get over the divorce.  He is about to leave his ex-wife's estate when he hears a woman in peril.  It is a beautiful young woman being abused by a thug.  Given Richard's clientele, Ted is pretty certain the man is a celebrity rapper.  Ted is correct, and when the woman goes missing, Ted is sorry he didn't do more than just offer her help.  He realizes you can't make someone save themselves, though, and wonders if Boney is involved when the woman, Patrice goes missing.

 

Ted is promoted on the reality show, much to his dismay.  The one good benefit to the promotion is that his boss, Trevor Bane, is paying for LA's best divorce attorney to get him a better deal.  That is worth everything to Ted.

 

Ted somehow manages to convince Trevor, in a job saving move, to utilize Boney the rapper in a Mogul segment, rather than Celine Dion.  This allows Ted access to snoop around and perhaps tie Boney into Patrice's disappearance.  Not wanting to get involved directly with the police, Ted uses pay phones and the voice of Foghorn Leghorn to communicate with the detective assigned to the case.  Detective Susan DeRosa is a clever woman who finds Ted's true identity and allows him to give her tips on the case.  Eventually, truth and justice prevail, though not before a lot of comic and manic action ensues.

 

This book is definitely not PC, but I found it hilarious.  It's a real look at the trappings of celebrity and the abuses found therein, the way the media encourages the celebrity of people with no discernible skill - like Paris Hilton, and Reality TV.  Keep It Real kept it entertaining for me, and my ribs are just now mending from the beating they took with all the laughing I did while reading it.  (Reviewed by Maggie Mason)

BookLoons
B ill Bryan, a TV producer and writer of shows such as Night Court and Coach skewers the strange world of reality TV in his comic murder mystery, Keep it Real. He uses his experience in the entertainment business, coupled with his comedic writing background, to write an interesting, if uneven, murder satire.

T he plot centers on the disappearance of rap video model Patrice. Our protagonist, Ted Collins, witnesses a violent encounter between Patrice and her boyfriend, gangsta musician Boney, while Ted is visiting his young daughter at her mother Sara's home during a court-supervised visit. When Patrice comes up missing, Ted feels a personal connection to her. As he used to be an investigative reporter in his former life before the divorce, he is motivated to discover what really happened to her. Alas, he's no longer a reporter, but maybe, just maybe, he can use his new career as a producer for The Mogul reality show to get inside Boney's world. What gangsta rapper wouldn't jump at the chance to be featured as a Mogul?

T his story takes a hilarious look at the odd worlds of reality TV, music, and the broader realm of media entertainment in general, Los Angeles style. The book immediately hooks us by a humorous description of Ted's manner of coping with the frustrations inherent in having to see his daughter only in the company of a social worker, at his former wife's new home. The dialogue is breezy, fast-moving, and really funny. It's also very coarse and profane at times, which can be wearing on the senses and is unnecessary for effect, as evidenced by the success of authors of comedic crime novels like Donald E. Westlake.

I n order to get inside Boney's inner circle, Ted manages to set up the possibility of using him on The Mogul. Bill Bryan then proceeds to send up the music industry, reality TV, LA's finest, and many media icons. The dialogue is inspired, but the plotting is less so, in that some plot points seem forced, especially the mystery's unbelievable ending. Still, this is a great first novel, and one that will definitely amuse if the reader doesn't mind the constant profanity and sometimes sketchy plotting. (Reviewed by Anise Hollingshead)

BooksForABuck.com , August 2007
Ted Collins hit rock-bottom after his wife left him, taking with her the movie rights to his Pulitzer-prize-winning article. From the peaks of investigative journalism, he's now a low-level producer for a truly horrible reality TV show. He's also still filled with anger at his wife and her new husband. That anger has resulted in his being denied any unsupervised visitation with his daughter.

When he oversees a conflict between a hip-hop star and the star's beautiful girlfriend--a model who vanishes shortly afterwards, Ted sees a possible road back to investigative journalism. In a celebrity-obsessed society, this is the kind of article any newspaper would sell its soul for. The problem of how to investigate when he doesn't even know the hip-hop star is solved by using his reality TV show--and making the hip-hop artist an integral part of the show. With a host of cameras on the scene, Ted is certain he'll be able to get to the truth. Maybe he'll even get lucky with the pretty detective assigned to look for the missing model.

Author Bill Bryan is at his best as he skewers the American media, with its concentration of self-proclaimed geniuses, its anything for a buck mindset, and its concentration on humiliation as the ultimate in entertainment. Bryan also manages some pithy observations on relationships between men and women, and on racial relationships in America. I found myself laughing out loud a number of times as I read through this entertaining and well-written story. Bryan is definitely an author to watch.

I would have liked to see a bit more concentration on the mystery, at least some additional investigation to bring up evidence to point at hip-hop star, Boney. Without that, the twist at the end of the novel didn't have quite the impact it could have. Still, I'm happy to recommend KEEP IT REAL as a fast-moving and compelling mystery--as well as an insightful look into the world of glitz, Hollywood, and reality TV. (Reviewed by Rob Preece)

Blurbs:

"If you like to laugh, and you hate reality TV, you will love this wonderfully, viciously hilarious book."
--Dave Barry

“If Carl Hiaasen and Joseph Heller collaborated on a book to satirize reality TV, you’d get Bill’s Bryan’s ‘Keep It Real.’ An instant classic.”
--Ken Bruen, author of The Guards

"'Keep It Real' is a wild, riotous romp.  A piercing satire of the excesses (and abscesses) of the entertainment industry.  The best skewering of Hollywood since 'The Player.'  Bill Bryan keeps it real and keeps it funny, and I hope he keeps it coming."
-- Paul Levine, author of Solomon vs. Lord

“I laughed so hard I fell off my toilet.”
-- Bill Handel, KFI Los Angeles

"Hilarious, profane, and dead-on funny.  ‘Keep It Real’ is a brilliant comic mystery which skewers the world of Reality TV, rap music, and Hollywood lawyers. Run out and buy it now and be prepared to stay up all night, choking with dark laughter."
--Robert Ward, author of Red Baker and Four Kinds of Rain Writer/Producer of “Hill St. Blues” and “Miami Vice”

"Keep It Real is one of the funniest crime novels I've ever read. If you like Westlake, you'll love this. I did."
--JA Konrath, author of Whiskey Sour

“A skewering of reality TV and popular culture, penned with fine, cold glee as only a Hollywood insider could.  Audacious, politically incorrect, and funny as hell.” --Dianne Emley, author of The First Cut

"An outrageously funny Hollywood satire.  With Keep It Real, Bill Bryan takes his place at the table with Elmore Leonard, Carl Hiaasen, Michael Tolkin, and Richard Belzer. Why am I at the table?  Because I wrote this blurb, okay babe?  You have a problem with that?”       
--Richard Belzer, star of “ Homicide: Life on the Street” and “ Law & Order”